The Perks of Childhood

There have been times in the past that I’ve looked at our cat and thought, in all seriousness, ‘I’d quite like to swap places with you today’. Admittedly it is only ever a fleeting fancy. Normally when I’ve got a particularly tiring or stressful day at work ahead of me, while the cat is curled up on the sofa from where he need not move all day unless he wants some food. The thought of curling up and not moving is very appealing at times. For the most part being a cat would probably get pretty boring though. I mean they don’t do much, do they?

Nowadays though I have someone else to project this envy onto- my baby! Sometimes, being a kid looks like so much fun. (While being an adult just isn’t as exciting.) Here are the top reasons I’d quite like to swap places with my little man every once in a while.

The ability to spend 12 hours at a time in bed EVERY night!

Oh how lovely it would be to spend the hours of 7-7 (or similar) uninterrupted in bed. I consider it occasionally, but there’s just too much adulting to be done. *sigh*

Food Theft

Small children are able to nick food off other people’s plates. You can do this as an adult as well, of course, but in my experience it will be much less well received and it is doubtful that anyone will think you are cute for doing it.

Spending all day in your comfies

There are times when I’d love to spend the entire day in my comfiest loungewear. Unless I’m not moving from my house though that would probably not be socially acceptable. Even when I am staying in all day self respect will (usually) encourage me to put some ‘proper’ clothes on. Babies are often dressed for comfort and convenience though. Just think how nice it could be to wear a sleepsuit all day just for the hell of it!

The Right to Stare

The ability to stare at whoever or whatever you want in public, without it being judged as rude, inappropriate or warranting your arrest by law enforcement. The woman who you can’t determine as definitely pregnant or just rather round, the embarrassingly public argument going on in aisle 13 of the supermarket RIGHT next to the bottle of wine you want to pick up, the person with the inexplicably hairy mole that is quite possibly the worst thing you have ever clapped eyes on… Your child can stare at any one of those things (and many more) for the first few years of their life without any consequences. You try it just once though and I doubt it will go down as well.

Guilt free car sleeping

There is no need to feel bad about leaving your companion bored by falling asleep on a long journey. Instead, you can snooze to your hearts content. What a joy!

Food Refusal

As an adult if someone makes you a God awful dinner you will most likely feel obliged to make an effort to eat some of it. Depending who made it for you and how polite you are you may even feel compelled to finish it off, regardless of whether it tastes like a donkey’s ass.

Babies though, they have no such problem. They don’t give two hoots who made it or what anyone else thinks. If your baby doesn’t want to eat your pureed broccoli they will spit it right back in your face. (I say this from experience.) If they think your mash is utter mush they will clamp their mouth shut and refuse another bite. They really don’t give a monkeys. How liberating that must be.

The Wonder of New Things

By the time you’ve been on this planet for 3 and a bit decades it’s not very often that day to day things strike you as amazing. For a baby though, any number of things will leave them in absolute awe.

My little boy’s current favourite fascination is watching people brush their teeth. He thinks it is the most interesting thing EVER. If I kneel down next to him while brushing my teeth to give him a better view he will stare in wonder, laugh with pure joy, crawl towards me and try to grab hold of the toothbrush. It’s like there is nothing more fascinating in the entire world. I only hope he still feels the same way when the time comes for him to start brushing his own teeth! (Somehow I suspect that’s unlikely.)

Oh to be that amazed by the simple things in life! Every day would be so much fun.

Toilet Time Knows No Bounds

I have to admit, this one isn’t mine. I’m more than happy to go to an actual toilet and I’m also happy to wait until an appropriate time to do so. (Although if you asked me when I’ve been in a queue of 30+ women at a concert venue or similar I might feel a bit differently in that moment!)

No, this one is all Hubs. As we sat in Costa having a flat white yesterday I decided to ask his opinion on which aspects of baby life were appealing to him. His immediate response? The ability to poo anywhere. He used the example that if he suddenly needed to go half way through his coffee, he just could. No need to go to the toilet. That’s the beauty of nappy life I suppose!

Again, this is not high on my list, but I will admit I can see how it could have it’s advantages. One for the menfolk, perhaps!

So those are some of the lifestyle perks of a 7 month old as I see them. I imagine as he grows up the list will grow and change with each new phase.

Have you got any others for babies or older kids? I’d love to hear them if you do.

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