Meet the Mums

Is it just me or do you find yourself repeatedly coming across certain types of mums? In any mother-heavy environment, event or gathering up and down the country I bet you will find at least one of each of the below types of mum. Do you see yourself in one of the examples? Are you a mix of a few of them? Or maybe you’re another type altogether?

Without further ado, let’s meet the mums…

The Should Have Been a Blue Peter Presenter Mum

She can make ANYTHING. Easter bonnet? She’s on it. Birthday cake? She will make a courageously elaborate Thomas the Tank Engine themed masterpiece all by herself that will both taste good and look incredible… and she’ll do it without breaking a sweat. World Book Day? Her child will win best costume, no question.

I so want to be as creative as Blue Peter Mum but I just can’t keep up with her. I am the girl who has a collection of approximately 1,000 baking recipes pinned on Pinterest, lovingly gathered over the course of the last few years, but I have yet to make a single one of them. I do mean to. When I pinned each one of them I thought to myself ‘I can’t wait to make that!’ In reality though I never have and I probably never will.

The Eco Mum

Not only does she think to herself ‘I know what would be better for the environment’ (be it reusable nappies or any manner of other eco friendly things) but she actually follows through and makes it part of her life. I salute you Eco Mum, you are a better human being than I am! (I promise I do recycle and I try my very best to avoid food wastage, but other than that I’m not really in the eco race at all…)

The Glamorous, Slim, ‘Did she ever really have a baby in there?’ Mum

I must admit I envy this mum’s incredible figure that bounced back uber quickly after her babe made an exit from her bump. I also envy her commitment to dressing well, doing her hair and make up nicely and generally taking good care of her appearance. If I’m honest though I will never have the dedication to be like her. Some days I find it in myself to make a really good effort, other days I can’t be arsed. I just try and avoid bumping into this glamorous mum on my slovenly days, therefore minimising the need to compare her superior aesthetics to my own slightly more dishevelled ones.

The Parenting Guru Mum

I know a certain amount of stuff about children. I learn new things all the time. I like to read and research so I keep myself as well informed as I can. But there is a lot of stuff I don’t know, and a lot of stuff that I will only ever learn if and when it becomes relevant to me.

Parenting Guru Mum though, she knows everything! If you have a question, she’s got the answer. If you have a problem, she’s got the solution. Great to have around when you need help. Not so great to have around if you’re having a day where you feel like a bit of a Mum Failure and her super-human knowledge only serves to make you feel even more fail-tastic.

The No-one Knows How She Does it Mum

She works full time, as well as playing an active role in looking after her babies, and somehow she still manages to win at life Every. Damn. Time. Birthday’s are never forgotten, cards are never sent late. Errands are run and jobs are kept on top of. Everyone eats healthily and the garden is never unkempt. How does she do it?! Does she have more hours in her day than the rest of us? Or is she secretly like a duck who looks serene from above the water but actually, deep down where no one can see, those legs are flapping like a wild thing. If she is that duck she’s doing a bloody good job of hiding those legs.

The Frazzled Mum

She may or may not have multiple mini humans in her tribe, adding to her frazzled-ness. At least one of those mini humans will be a bit of a renegade, causing destruction anytime she feels she has got herself anywhere close to organised.

She is always in a rush. She is always juggling multiple tasks in her head and trying to get things done. She never finishes a hot cup of anything. If she did do her hair nicely this morning you can bet it’s rained since and she looks ever so slightly dishevelled by the time she makes contact with the outside world.

You just want to give her a big slice of cake, a large glass of wine and a nice long afternoon off from mumming!

Super Modern Online Mum

This Mum is so quick to look, find and buy things online it will astound you. One day you might be sat in Sensory class and someone mentions the latest weaning gadget or sleeping aid. The next day, you see Super Modern Online Mum posting on Facebook about how she can’t wait to give it a try today. In the space of 24 hours she has researched, found and purchased said item online and it has already arrived and is in her house ready for it’s first use. You, in the meantime, have only just about committed the idea vaguely to memory. You have added it to your list of things you must look at, along with the other 64 things already on that list. You definitely will look into them all at some point. Promise!

Does Super Online Mum even have a to do list, or does she just instantly do everything without the to?!

The ‘Everything’s Organic, Homemade Or Educational’ Mum

I started out with every intention to be just like this mum. I favoured wooden toys over colourful plastic crap and I wanted to feed my baby lovingly homemade food rather than supermarket pouches. It just turns out that babies like the colourful plastic crap a lot more than the old fashioned wooden toys I had in mind, and after the first couple of weeks of my homemade purees going anywhere but in the baby’s mouth I gave up and turned to pre-made.

I would love to be able to say I was doing everything ‘properly’ but unfortunately I’m not. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It’s not the end of the world.

Which Mum am I?

I don’t think I’m really any of the above, I’m much more of a mix. On bad days I definitely have a touch of the Frazzled Mum about me, but thankfully it’s not a permanent status! I have high hopes of adopting some of Blue Peter Mum’s habits, but I don’t expect I’ll get anywhere near her level overall. As for Parenting Guru Mum… as much as I’d love to have her knowledge, Professor Google is my point of reference more often than I should probably admit. Although I’m fairly certain most first time parents would admit to that too. What on earth did the world do before Google?!

I suspect when I go back to work I might find myself creating a whole new category to plonk myself into: The Disorganised Mum. Making nursery drop-off time by the skin of my teeth, making it into the office on time by the skin of my teeth, making nursery pick-up time by the skin of my teeth… you get the picture. Basically, just the person I was before I had my baby, only now responsible for the disorganisation of not just myself, but a whole extra human being too.

Mum’s rule! We’re all doing the same job just in our own very different ways. Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same?

(I won’t turn my nose up at the chance of springing back to my pre-baby body without all the hard work though, if Glamorous Mum’s actually got a magic genie she’d like to lend me…)

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